


someone you loved.

by antialohas



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Spider-Man Fusion, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, College, Cunnilingus, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Heartbreak, Love Confessions, Marvel Universe, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Pre-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Romance, Rough Sex, Sharing a Bed, Smut, Spider-Man: Far From Home (Movie), Spideychelle Week 2019
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-06 09:56:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20505062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antialohas/pseuds/antialohas
Summary: An AU series in which Peter Parker and Michelle Jones have been friends for quite some time. Unfortunately, Michelle has a bad track record when it comes to choosing a partner, and when shit hits the fan Peter is there to pick up the pieces. With each crack at her heart, Peter is there to mend the broken bits, and of course he develops feelings; but he can hide those said feelings, bury them deep, deep, DEEP down, lock them in a box and throw away the key; However those feelings get harder and harder to ignore when the two start fooling around, AND they get even worse when they start rooming together for college. Poor Peter thinks he can still swallow those feelings and keep this facade going; news flash he can’t. because he’s an idiot. and has loose lips. Plus miss Emjay is pretty freaking cute and hard to resist.





	someone you loved.

Peter quickly turned the female around, her position changing from all fours to on her back. She reached up fast grabbing his cheeks and crashing her lips into his yet again. He grabbed her hips, his thumb caressing her exposed skin before pulling her closer. He grabbed ahold of his tip lining it up with her center and sliding inside her again with ease. He released a low moan as every inch of him crept inside her.

Having sex with peter was always the highlight of Emjays week. Each day she worked hard and was constantly stressing over the next assignments, but when she came home all that stress would fade away into dust. Peter always came to the rescue, trying his best to ease her mind in the one way he knew how. Sex. It was a sure thing to do the trick. But sex wasn't always part of their little friendship routine.

3 years ago:

"So are you going to the prom?" Em reached over and took a handful of popcorn from the bowl that rested on peters lap. She shoved the buttery goodness into her mouth, chewing away at the salty snack. 

Peter shook his head. "Nah, i don't have anyone to go with." he shrugged taking some popcorn and munching on it as well.

She raised a brow and snorted. "It's 2019, you don't need a date to prom Parker. You can go stag." she crossed her arms and turned her body to face him. 

He really didn't want to have this conversation with Em, but shes persistent, she always found a way to get all the details and never could let anything go. "I don't want to go alone. Gwen actually asked me, but i said no. And before you yell and ask why-" which she totally was about to, he knows her so well. "I don't want to go because of what happens after prom, no matter what you do, go to a party, or hotel, or get drunk at the beach, it all leads to the same thing. After prom sex, and you and i both know i'm severely lacking in that department. I got my card on fucking lockdown." he let out a heavy sigh before setting the bowl on the nightstand. "If i go with someone i know they are gonna want to do that and since i'm still a fucking virgin, i just, i don't want to be bad at it." 

Michelle just listened to her friend ramble on about his little dilemma. She felt bad for him of course, he is a senior with no sexual experience, and it's not just because he is a gentleman, it's because he is always around her. So of course she kinda put blame on herself. 

After Emjay and her abusive ex broke up, she hasn’t really been stable. She jumped around from guy to guy and the only constant in her life was peter. He helped her through it, and that wasn't easy, took all of high school. Now it's senior year, graduation is in a week and this boy has spent that entire time cleaning up her messes and helping her get back to some type of normalcy. 

Peter deserved to go to prom and show some girl a good time, not have this burden hanging over his head if that girl wants to get physically intimate. But what she said next not only shocked peter but also herself.

"I'll do it. i'll have sex with you." 

Peters eyes widen and his cheeks turned a deep shade of red. "Y-you'll w-what?" 

Her cheeks weren't far from the color on his face. "You heard what i said. I blame myself for you not being able to go out and have a fun high school experience, because the whole time you were taking care of me. So let me do this for you. I'll show you what to do, and in return i get to have sex so we both win." she shrugged like it's nothing but to peter this was more than nothing.

Emjay and Peter have been friends for a while and he would be lying if he said he didn't feel something for wildly curly haired brunette. But she was fucked up, and she was with her shit ex, the timing was off, and so when feelings tried to surface he would bury them back down. It got easier for him when she started to get better but then it got worse because he saw she was happy again. And seeing her smile tugged on his heart and filled his stomach with stupid butterflies. He wanted to make a move but she said she was done dating. She didn't want to go through that traumatic experience again so she threw love away, but what she didn't realize was that she also threw away any hope peter had for the two of them. 

"Emjay i don't know. Sex, uh, sex can complicate things." he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He didn't know much about sex but he did know that it could cause problems. 

"Not if we don't let it. It's just casual. No feelings, just for learning purposes, i teach you and i can get some practice. It's just for educational purposes." she smiled foolishly and peter couldn't help but smile along with her. 

Em took in a breath before slowly moving towards him, his cheeks turning that red color again while his smile dropped and his jaw clenched. She climbed on top of him, one leg on each side of him while her arms wrapped around his neck. "Just friends? No feelings, just keeping it simple." 

Peter tried his best to say something but his breath was caught in his throat, so he just nodded as he stared up at her, his eyes moving from hers down to her lips. 

She bit her lip nervously before leaning down and kissing him slowly, just to test the waters. 

And from that moment on it was set in stone. The two of them did the deed, he buried himself deep within her, and my god it was the most euphoric experience he has ever had or will ever have. With her moaning his name over and over again, while he watched her come undo, and let's not forget the little bumps in the road the two of them came across, like laughing while the two tried to put on the condom, or laughing because he couldn't find her entrance, or when he bumped into her forehead with his. Those little moments made him enjoy the whole experience ten times more, it also made him last longer so she could also enjoy herself. But when the deed was coming to an end, and he felt his high coming in fast he looked at her, while she laid underneath him, curls sprawled out across the pillow, lips parted, skin glowing, and red marks littering her neck, he knew it, right then and there, what all this meant, this connection he felt with her in that moment only screamed what he already knew to be true. He was in love with her. My god he was so in love with her. And with that thought along with the sight of her, he finally reached his high. He buried his head in the space between her neck and shoulder, while she kissed his jawline and waited for him to finish. 

He pulled away and looked down at her, he opened his mouth to speak but she stopped him with her lips before he could ruin the moment and make everything awkward.

So the two teens just kissed, it wasn't sexual or anything along those lines, it was filled with passion and love and need. 

And that just fucked with his head even more.

After that lustful night the two of them continued like it didn't change anything. And for Emjay it seemed like didn't, but for Peter, it changed everything. The two continued, having sex became the new norm. They even went to prom together and afterwards went to a hotel, providing by Tony, and fucked each other's brains out. In the shower, against the wall, against the windows, on the floor, on the bathroom floor, on the tv stand, and lastly on the bed. 

Then they got into the same college and decided to live off campus together. Which was great because they got to take breaks from school and were able to stay close to one another.

Now it's been three painful years and Peter is losing his mind. He knows he loves her, and he continues to have sex with her because he knows how much it means to her, even though it's emotionally killing him. 

——————

After the two were done, Em laid along side the boy, naked in bed. Peters back leaning against the headboard while she laid on her stomach and faced him, chatting away. 

"How's the report coming?" she asked while snatching the beer bottle from him and taking a swing. 

Peter only shrugged and crossed his arms. "It's coming along. Just got on the last few pages, should be done by this weekend." he took the bottle back and brought it to his lips. 

She just nodded before sitting up and moving her hair to the side. She wanted to tell him the news, she wanted to tell him and hope that he would be happy for her, of course he would be happy, he’s her best friend and all he wants is for her to be happy and move on. 

"Harry asked me out today." she blurted out, avoiding eye contact with him while taking the bottle yet again. 

No no no no no.

"Oh. Really?" Peter tried his best to not show too much emotion, not show that his heart was slowly breaking away piece by piece. 

"Yeah, he uh asked me while i was study. He has been flirting with me since the semester started and at first i didn't care for it, but he is really trying and he seems sweet." she smiled at the thought.

Peter rolled his eyes before standing to his feet and grabbing his boxers, slipping them on fast. "Yeah so did Eddie. He seemed real sweet." he clenched his jaw while grabbing his clothes that littered the floor. "Especially when he beat the shit out of you, yeah that was really sweet." 

Emjay stared up at the brown haired boy in horror. Tears immediately filling her eyes. How dare he, bringing up something so traumatic, bringing up her ex, for no fucking reason. She wasn’t sure where this outburst came from but it completely caught her off guard and destroyed her in seconds. 

Peter took one look at her face and regret immediately took over him. "Em..i'm, i didn't, i'm sorry, fuck. I didn't mean that." he walked over to her and tried to put his hand on her leg but she flinched away. 

"What the actual fuck Peter. Low fucking blow." She crawled off the bed, getting off on the opposite side. "You have no fucking right." She grabbed a big t-shirt from her draws and pulled it on over her head. " Am i just supposed to give up? Am i supposed to go on believing that every guy is Eddie? If that's the case then what the fuck is the point in getting better?!? Isn't the point of all of this healing so that one day i can finally let myself be with someone and trust them?! Isn't that what all this is for?!?" She gestured between the two of them, referring to him constantly helping her.

Peter just stared at her while she screamed and cried, he knew what he said was wrong, beyond wrong, but it just slipped. He wants her to be happy, but not with some guy who is gonna hurt her. He knows it’s selfish but the only guy right for her is him. And he wants so badly to scream it out loud but he can't. Not while she’s like this. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I just want to protect you." he says quietly, barely above a whisper. 

That broke her even more. "You've protected me long enough Peter. I want to find someone who loves me, i don't want to keep doing this forever." she lets out a breath before wiping her eyes. 

Peter shook his head fast, no no no no. She can't mean ending this, she doesn't mean breaking this off. No. "What are you saying?" he knew exactly what she was saying but he just didn't want to believe it to be true.

"We can't keep holding each other back. I thought by teaching you it'll help you. But peter i'm still the only girl you've had sex with and for three years now you're the only boy i've been with. We can't spend the rest of our lives doing this. We need to start venturing off and meeting new people." This is something that has been bothering her for a while now but she has been keeping it to herself because she didn't know how Peter would react. 

"So you're gonna go on this date and then it's done between us? No more of this?" he pointed his hand to the bed that acted like a barrier between the two. 

Em nodded, trying not to think too much into the broken expression on Peters face. 

He saw her avoiding his eyes, he also payed attention to her body language, noticing how distant she felt. Even while standing only a few feet away from him, she still felt ten thousand miles away. 

Peter couldn't say another word, or even look at her for another second, he just took his things and stormed off. 

Since that night they hadn’t spoken in months, four to be exact. Even with them living together Peter did everything in his power to avoid her, staying in his room, and leaving before she could wake up and after she’s gone to bed. He even brought home a few girls. And to say that didn't bother her would be a fucking lie. But she ignored those feelings and tried to focus on her own relationship. That was until she found out Harry was cheating on her. And just like that her world came crashing down yet again. She cursed at herself, she saw the signs but she didn't listen, just like with Eddie. She saw the signs of an abusive partner; similar to her father; but she didn't realize it until it was too late. 

Now she sat on the floor in the living room, beer bottles littering the floor while tissues littered the coffee table. She was zoned out in her own thoughts until she heard the door knob. Em quickly wiped her eyes and nose and stood to her feet fast, making herself a little dizzy, and started to clean up the mess. 

Peter rolled into the apartment, slightly tipsy as well. It was around two in the morning so he expected Emjay to be sleeping but when he came across her wobbly figure in the living room he almost threw up. 

"Don't worry, i'm just cleaning up and then heading to my room." she spoke with a raspy voice and sniffled. 

Peter took another long glance, debating with himself if he should go to her. Clearly something was wrong, but he has been working so hard on trying to cut her out of his life. She was apart of his daily routine. Walk up, make her some tea, fix her some breakfast. Go to class together, meet up with her for lunch, meet up with her after classes were over and head home together. She had planted her roots deep within him, and for those tiring four mouths he tried his best to cut them away, dig up the weeds and plant new soil. But every time he pulled one root away another would grow in its place. He sighed, he knew fighting with the urge was pointless, no matter how much he wanted to distance himself she just kept pulling him back. He cursed under his breath before finally making his way over to her. "What happened?" he tried to get a glimpse of her face, making sure she had no bruises, but she avoided looking at him. 

"Nothing happened. Leave me alone." she mumbled while she continued to clean up the mess.

Peter, however, persisted and continued on, taking a step forward. "Em I swear to god, if he touched you.." He clenched his jaw along with his fists. "Look at me." He demanded, but she just ignored his request and started to walk off, he grabbed her, turned her around quickly and cupped her cheeks. His eyes scanned over her face fast, then moving down to her neck and looking at her arms. Nothing. No bruises or cuts or hand prints. Not a scratch on her perfect skin. But her eyes were blood shot and cheeks stained with dried tears. 

Em looked back at him and she wanted to just collapse into his arms right then and there. Just fall into him and cry, break down and let all the pain fall off her shoulders and onto his. "He, he uh... this girl, she was.." she struggled to finish the sentence, but she didn't have to Peter already knew how the story ended.

He let go of her face fast, his expression turning from concern to rage. "i'll kill him." he started to head for the door. 

Her feet wouldn't move, it was like they were caught in quick sand, keeping her from moving and pulling her down under, but she pulled herself together and found enough strength the chase after him. "Peter stop." she croaked, grabbing his arm and pulling him back. "Don't leave me alone." she whispered. 

Peters heart stopped, hearing those long forgotten words brought back everything in one blow. It felt like a gigantic wave crashed into him, drowning him slowly. He let those long forgotten roots grow and tangle into every moving cell in his body. He turned his head and his eyes quickly found hers. She looked so hurt, and so lost. He just didn't understand why this kept happening to her, she didn't deserve this. Emjay was so kind; yeah a little blunt at times, but with the best intentions of course; and such an angel, and none of this should ever happen to an angel. An angel shouldn't fall in love with some drunk piece of shit who beats on his girl, or fall for some cheating dick. An angel deserves the heavens and all the pure light that follows. 

Emjay being slightly intoxicated only intensified the moment. His skin against hers, while his chest radiated warmth, warmth she so desperately wanted to surround her, and his breath so close to her face, it just made her not want to be alone anymore. She grabbed his face fast and smacked her lips against his. Peter didn't waste a damn second, he was already pulling off his jacket and pushing her up against the way. 

God he wanted this, he missed this, those other girls they just numbed everything, but they didn't know what he liked, or what he didn't, or how to fill him with ecstasy like she did. Maybe it was the fact that he was also a little tipsy from the booze but he didn't care everything felt like it was dialed to eleven, and he didn't want this to end.

The two stumbled into the bedroom, crashing onto the soft mattress. Peter removed her shirt and pants fast while she reached down and aimed for his zipper and belt, taking off not just his pants but his underwear too. 

He didn't want to waste any time, he need the feeling back, he needed the feeling of that connection he had with her. With a strong hand he gripped her underwear and moved it to the side, he didn't waste another second before pushing himself deep inside her. Em let out a loud cry and gripped onto his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin. 

She sat on the edge of the bed, slightly leaned back while Peter had one hand holding onto her hip and the other wrapped around her shoulder while he bit into her skin, not hard enough to break skin obviously, but to cause a pleasurable pain. Her fingers tangled into his hair and pulled him even closer. But no matter how close you pulled him she just felt even further away. She was so broken that no amount of time with Peter, or sex, could mend her broken heart. But she pushed those thoughts out of her head and tried to focus on the pounding of his cock pushing in and out of her roughly. 

Peter shut his eyes and buried himself in this moment, this moment he has been waiting for, he needed this, it's been so long since he felt her. All those girls he was with he tried so hard to picture her but it wasn't the same. But now this was real, this was what he longed for, four months and all he thought about was her lips, not just against his lips but against his tip, or her taste, or the sound of her crying out his name, knowing damn well he is the only man to ever make her scream like that. He missed all of it, and while caught up in his own thoughts of how much he fucking loves her and how much he missed her he slips up. "Fuck. I, fuck i love you." he moaned out against her neck, while continuing to thrust into her.

Emjays heart froze and her mind went blank. She heard him loud and clear, and she just froze. She didn't want it to be true. But she couldn't stop what was happening because then he would know she heard him and he would know something isn't right if she just stopped. So she continued to fuck but she kept quiet, only letting out moans when she couldn't keep them in.

Peter felt him begin to throb inside her, with each thrust his high came closer and closer. His hands roamed her body wanting to feel every inch of her, wanting to get all those feelings back that he had lost. She grabbed onto his shoulders and squeezed down, her walls clenching against him while she moaned loudly. 

He felt her get tighter against him and his tip slammed into her core hard before his thrust grew sloppy and he unraveled, releasing himself inside her. 

She felt him, all of him, his chest rising and falling fast while he tried to catch his breath, his lips kissed her neck lovingly like he missed her. And all she could do was stare at the wall emotionless. She tried to feel something but she didn't. She felt nothing. 

Peter let out a heavy sigh followed by a nervous laugh. "God i missed that." he pulled himself out of her, quickly walking over to grab a tissue and clean himself, then grabbing the box and bringing it back to her. "Here." he smiled at her, but she just took the box and quickly cleaned herself off, before fixing her underwear and grabbing her shirt. 

Peter could tell something was off, her not having some quick quip afterwords? Yeah something definitely was wrong. "What's wrong? You alright?" he let out a nervous laugh yet again, taking a step towards her but she ignored his advances and just started to get dress.

"I think we should just be friends." She choked out, pulling her pants up, still avoiding his eyes. 

Peter raised a brow "What why?" he just got her back, he wasn't about to lose her all over again. "But you and Harry are done. We can go back to the way things were before." he said hopefully.

But she shook your head fast "Don't make this harder then it has to be." she tried to keep her tears from flowing but it was too late, they came and they came down hard. 

Peter rushed to her side, standing in front of her to block her from leaving. "Is this because i said i love you?" he laughed nervously. "Because I don't love you, that wasn't i love you love you, that was like middle of sex you know 'love you.'" He rambled fast, trying his best to make the lie convincing but she saw right through it. 

Em tried to run but her feet wouldn't move and she tried to not show emotion but the tears wouldn't stop. "Listen honest.." peter cupped her face fast, trying to make her listen. "I don't love you." she grabbed his wrist and tried to pull him off of her but he wouldn't let go. "Okay no listen, i promise!" he screamed his eyes glossed over. She didn't want to listen, she didn't want him to be in love with her. He was just going to hurt her like the rest. Peter held onto her for dear life "I promise i don't love you!" he pleaded, before crashing his lips into hers. He couldn't lose her not like this. If he would have to lie for the rest of his life about his feelings for her then that's what he will do. Just to keep her happy and in his life. But he can't lose her. Not again.

She kept her lips closed not letting him fully kiss her, this is what they do, this is what Eddie did. He would hold her in place and beg her to stay, say anything she wanted just so she would stay, promising he wouldn't do it again. But it was just another lie. All of it, all of this is a lie. Em pulled his hands off her and hurried to the door not caring if he followed her. 

"Hey, Emjay please!!" he called out for her but she rushed into her room and slammed the door, locking it immediately. "Please. Just let me in. I don't love you. It was the heat of the moment, i missed you and it slipped out. I don't love you please!!" he cried banging his fists against the door. 

Emjay sat against the door listening to his plea but it all became background noise as she tuned him out. 

Never again. she promised herself.


End file.
